From bad to worse

I talk to you guys a lot about my IV meth addiction because that was my most recent struggle.

But years before I ever stuck a needle in my arm I was a binge drinking pill head… pills got too expensive and I ended up turning to heroin. This photo was taken on my 23rd birthday weekend. The first day I ever did heroin.

I remember being so against it… but it’s all I could find and I was pill sick and just wanted to enjoy my birthday … so I said fuck it and dove head first into it with zero thought or fear. I remember feeling like I was on top the world that night. We went to the dock and had some drinks and then to an annual 4th of july concert that my friends band was playing at. I had a fucking blast. I was so happy.

Untill the next morning came and I was hit with the realization of what I’d done and now knew that pills would never be enough again. H was cheaper, got me higher and was easier to find. I spent that entire summer battling my heroin addiction.

I overdosed twice.
Probably came close more than a few other times.

I hated myself.

I wanted to die.

I used suboxone to help me off H that fall. Stayed sober for a short time before relapsing hard into IV methamphetamine…

Using meth kept me from using H thankfully… but ruined my life entirely. But that’s a story for another time…

I was a binge drinker and prescription pill head for years before this photo was taken.. but this photo, to me… represents the day my life truly took a turn for the worst. This was the day that I let “hard drugs” into my life.

This was the day I crossed the lines I promised myself I’d never cross.

Yes I was already and opiate addict but in my fucked up head pills were “safe” because they were prescription and not “dirty”

This was the day I got “dirty”

This was the day I truly lost myself.

On this day I absolutely for sure never expected to see my next birthday, I figured it was only a matter of time…

But now here I am with a few days shy of 8 months of sobriety and truly looking forward to July 4th and turning 27.

I’m so blessed to be where I am today.

#justfortoday #narcoticsanonymous #na #alcoholicsanonymous #aa #odaat #hopeafterdope #wedorecover

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